{"id":165,"date":"2020-10-08T23:38:42","date_gmt":"2020-10-09T03:38:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/butlerbridgeprogram\/?page_id=165"},"modified":"2020-10-08T23:39:00","modified_gmt":"2020-10-09T03:39:00","slug":"165-2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/butlerbridgeprogram\/165-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Avery Barbosa-Hayes, “Girl of My Dreams”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Looking around, I can\u2019t see anything. There\u2019s just white, nothing else. It looks like it goes on for miles, maybe more.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m scared for a moment until I realize this is a dream. Excited, I look around to find the mysterious person I\u2019ve been meeting in this dreamworld.<\/p>\n

When I see her face, mine instantly lights up, and I run to hug her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi!\u201d I exclaim a little too loudly. She giggles at me and picks me up. I\u2019m sure when we meet in the real world it won\u2019t be this easy to pick me up, but we are dreaming, after all.<\/p>\n

I look at her for a minute, trying to take in every feature of her face, hoping that there\u2019s a slight chance that if I can see it clearly in my head now, I\u2019ll be able to see it clearly when I wake up, too.<\/p>\n

As usual, we talk for the hours into the night about trivial things, how our lives are, and what\u2019s happening in them. She tells me about her struggles with her family, I tell her about the struggles with my cats. It\u2019s become a routine, discussing our troubles and fears every night.<\/p>\n

Eventually, the white world starts to fade, and my eyes widen in fear. She smiles at me, knowing that her smile calms me down. It helps a little, but not enough. I start to panic as she fades from my view, knowing that it could be weeks before I see her again. Gripping her hand tightly, I feel helpless as I watch our surroundings disappear, and her with them.<\/p>\n

In a futile attempt to stay in this world, the only one where I feel like I belong, I squeeze my eyes shut even tighter than they were. It doesn\u2019t work, and she waves at me as she fully disappears, and I don\u2019t even notice that I\u2019ve started crying. When she\u2019s fully gone, I open my eyes, tears staining my face.<\/p>\n

When I realize she\u2019s gone, I immediately try to recall something about her. Her face, her hair, her clothes, anything. I try for what feels like hours, reaching for any piece of her that might be lingering in my mind. Finally, I can see something. It\u2019s small and faint, but it\u2019s there.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Grinning widely, tears start running down my face at the thought of having something to recognize her by.<\/p>\n

Her smile.<\/em>
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\nThe rest of my morning is better than usual due to the events preceding it.<\/p>\n

I energetically follow my morning routine and make my way to the coffee shop where I work, trying to slip in the door without anyone noticing. I\u2019m not exactly the most liked person among my coworkers.<\/p>\n

Once I\u2019m sure no one\u2019s seen me, I slip into my apron and hurry out onto the floor to start taking orders. The rest of the day is fairly monotonous, and it passes in a flash. Right before my shift is over, I see a group of teens walk into the store and sit at one of my tables, so I hurry over to greet them in hopes that I can get them dealt with quickly so I can leave. The tallest one has dark hair and a very serious look on his face, so I assume he\u2019s the most mature one in the group, and I walk to his side of the table to avoid the wrath of the others. When I reach him I spew out my normal greeting and ask them for their orders. As I walk away from the table, the unnaturally neon green-haired boy grabs my wrist and spins me around to look at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cSir… do you need something?\u201d I tentatively ask him, uncomfortable with the sudden contact. I rarely touch people, not even for handshakes. He grins at me and starts spewing random cheesy pick-up lines. I sigh and look him in the eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease let go of me, sir. I need to get back to work.\u201d I try to feign confidence, but I think he can tell that I\u2019m nervous. He ignores me and keeps going, now being more direct.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know CPR? Because you just took my breath away.\u201d Normally I\u2019d giggle at this, but I\u2019m tired and seriously just want to go home.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cI won\u2019t ask again. Let go of me.\u201d People from surrounding tables start noticing the commotion, but no one does anything. He still doesn\u2019t let go. I assume his ego won\u2019t let him go down without a serious fight.<\/p>\n

Suddenly a woman from another table stands up and rips his hand off my wrist. Her hair is a beautiful dark red color with a single black stripe through it. It\u2019s in her face, making her expression unreadable, but I can still feel how angry she is.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u200bShe said \u200bhands off<\/strong><\/em>.\u200b\u201d\u00a0 Her voice is filled with venom, and I silently thank her for being so harsh with him. He looks scared and backs away, clearly not wanting to deal with her. I hear him whisper something about \u201cdemon lady\u201d under his breath and his friends giggle. I shoot him a warning glare and his trap shuts. However, when I turn around to thank the woman, she\u2019s disappeared. I search for her for a moment, but I can\u2019t see her so I assume she\u2019s left. I sigh in disappointment before turning back to the counter so I can hand my notepad with the orders on it to one of my coworkers and get out of the godforsaken coffee shop. However, before I can do so, I feel a force tugging me backward. I whip around, thinking the blonde boy is trying to take another shot at me, but there\u2019s no one behind me, and he\u2019s still in his seat across the room. I shrug it off and go for the counter again, but something tugs me back again. I glare around the room, assuming that someone is messing with me as a joke. When it happens again, I almost say something to everyone in the room, but when I turn around something is still pulling on me despite no one being there. Out of curiosity, I let it this time.<\/p>\n

The force drags me through town to a hill overlooking the large lavender fields. At the edge of it, I see someone sitting there, their hair blowing in the wind slightly. I can clearly see it\u2019s a woman now, and from her side profile, she looks gorgeous. She has a sort of halo floating around her, and it almost feels like her energy replenishes mine that was lost throughout the day. Too nervous to do anything, I stand and watch her from afar, admiring her. After a moment, something makes me unwillingly move forward, almost close enough to touch her. She senses my presence and gets up, turning around to face me slowly. Her hair covers half of her face, so I can\u2019t see all of it, but the part of it that I can see is oddly familiar. Despite just meeting this woman, she feels like an old friend, maybe even an old lover.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cI um…do I know you?\u201d I tentatively ask, not sure what to say. She nods her head slowly, not speaking. I suddenly recognize the black streak in her hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you\u2019re the lady from the coffee shop! I never got to thank you earlier.\u201d I smile at her, and I swear I see her face redden a little, but it goes away in an instant and I assume it\u2019s just the light.<\/p>\n

\u201cU-uh yeah, no problem.\u201d She stutters a little, and I wonder why she\u2019s so nervous. She seemed so confident before, so what changed? She shifts a little and looks like she\u2019s going to say something else, but decides against it.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan we go get something to eat as a thank-you? I\u2019d love to chat with you a bit!\u201d I grin at her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI-I\u2019m sorry, I really can\u2019t. Thank you for the offer, though.\u201d She starts to walk away, and I sigh dejectedly. I was hoping to learn more about her and why I was so mysteriously drawn to her. Despite myself I yell out to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait! Can I at least have your number so we can try another time?\u201d<\/p>\n

She turns around, shocked. Her hair flies out of her face for a second, and it hits me who she is. Before she can fix her hair, I catch a glimpse of a large birthmark that goes from just under her eye down to her collarbone.<\/p>\n

\u201cI…it\u2019s you…?\u201d I stare at her, wide-eyed. She nods at me and looks down. I\u2019m immediately disappointed, I\u2019d hoped she\u2019d be happier to see me.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you say something earlier? When you saw me at the coffee shop or just now?\u201d<\/p>\n

I bombard her with questions, not understanding why she\u2019d avoided me.<\/p>\n

\u201cI…I thought you\u2019d be disappointed.\u201d She sighs, and I look at her with sadness in my eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re gorgeous, why would I be disappointed?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her head perks up.<\/p>\n

\u201cW-well…\u201d she gestures to her face and I sigh. I walk up to her and brush away the hair covering her birthmark.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt makes you unique. I love it.\u201d Her face fills with shock and I flash her a smile, hoping she\u2019d return it.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy wasn\u2019t it there when we were dreaming, though?\u201d I question, tucking the hair behind her ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can be anything you want in the world of dreams. I chose to be pretty.\u201d She looks around, refusing to meet my eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou already are.\u201d She finally looks me in the eyes, and I see her sigh. Looking up at her, I wrap my arms around her tightly.<\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t say anything, she just returns the hug. After a moment she picks me up and spins me around, holding onto me tightly.<\/p>\n

Only then does she finally smile, and it shines brighter than I\u2019ve ever seen. That smile that I\u2019ve grown to adore, the one that I\u2019ve longed to see in real life for so long. She giggles a little, and I smile too, gripping onto her tightly while we spin for what feels like hours.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s alright,\u201d she says \u201cyou don\u2019t have to hold on so tight.\u201d Smiling down at me, her hold on me strengthens.<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise I won\u2019t let go.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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