A CONVERSATION IN THE BARNYARD

by ARIEANNA

Pig: I wake up in the morning and try to pick myself off the ground. SO what I do is wiggle myself up. Man, let me tell you, cow, if you lived like me you would love it, brah.

Cow: Are you sure about that?

Pig: Yeah, man…look, homie, the farmer brings me food every day, and not that nasty stuff, that good stuff. Man, cow, you be eatin’ that grass and I be eatin’ corn, green beans, meat…like a stew, home skillet.

Cow: Oh, really?

Pig: Yeah, bro, it’s like a strew, bro.

Cow: Tell me more.

Pig: So, bro, you know how I’m fat I get to just lay back while you’re standing? Broooo, the best thing is the mud, bro. You gotta try the mud…

Cow: So you have a pretty easy life.

Pig: Yeah, I do, don’t I?

Cow: Yeah, until Christmas…

Pig: What you tryin’ to say, bro? I’m just ham to you? I’m just bacon?

Cow: Yeah, pretty much.

Pig: Okay, you just a piece of hamburger. That’s all you’ll ever be, homie.

Cow: Man, I really don’t care.

Pig: Okay, bro, you pushin’ my buttons. So you wanna go? Huh? We can go!

Cow: Oh boy!

Pig: Yeah, you know you lucky this gate holdin’ me back. You lucky. Cuz I would oink you right now.

Cow: Ight. I don’t got time for this. Bye, pig…

Pig: Yeah, walk away! You’ll be back! They always come back! OINK OINK!

*TWO HOURS LATER, AFTER PIG’S MUD BATH*

Pig: You wanna bump, now?

Cow: Naw, bro. I’m cool. I’m sorry.

Pig: Ight. I guess I am, too. It’s cool.

Cow: It’s good. I’m good bro.

Pig: So, wanna hang later?

Cow: Ight.