by KATRINA

Dear Grandma,

Recently I’ve been missing you. I’ve been thinking of all the memories we shared. I go back. I go back before your death when I was 6. I thought that I would never lose you. I though that I would always hear you yell at me for doing stupid things. I thought that you would always be here and sit me on your lap as you rocked in your chair and sang to me. I never thought that he would take you away from me. I know that you are in a better place of no suffering but I’m still selfish. I didn’t want you to go. I want you here. I’m still selfish. I don’t care if you are sick, just as long as you are here with me. I know that’s cruel but I’m being honest. I miss your warm hugs. I miss your soft lips on my forehead. I miss you telling me everything will be alright. I feel like there is no more hope in the world without you. I feel like you were the only light in this darkness. You left and are now in Heaven while I’m living in this hell. That’s not fair. I want to be with you or you to be with me. I miss you, Grandma. Words cannot even describe the sadness I felt when I was told you had died. You always taught me to be strong, but I’m not sure if I can anymore. I wanna fall on the floor and throw a fit and get what I want. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired of being without you. I tell my mom but all she says is you are here in my heart. I don’t want you there. I want you here with me and honestly I don’t care if you were God’s before mine. You are my Grandma and God can go find someone else to keep him company. My wants right now are above his, and right now I want you here with me. I love and miss you Grandma. ONly you can fill the hole in my heart.