by PAULA

I ain’t done much of this before
Being a kid and all, not much
Experience.
But, I got a whole life to live
In front of me.
Taking the path less traveled is no
Option
Because I’m not going to be a mere
Shadow of someone else.
I’m gonna make my own footprints,
Make my own memories.
If I expect to be anything other
Than a splash of paint on
My canvas.
If I expect to make it in this world,
I gotta be the best.
So when the world puts it
To the test
I’m gonna give it my all.
Forget being afraid to fall.
Cause ain’t no one gonna push
Me down.
I’ll crash to one knee
But my head will never hit the
Ground.
I’m higher than the statue of
Liberty
But I don’t got my head in
The clouds.
I’m looking straight into the
Eyes of my future
And I’m not backing down.
And I’m not rapping.
These gangsters out here trapping
Through the night while I’m
Getting my rest.
Ain’t nothing wrong with doing what
You gotta do
To make a life.
You gotta take care of your own
And, I sure as hell ain’t grown
I don’t know shit bout payin’ bills.
Getting over hills life throws at me
If I had lemons I’d pass ‘em
Back.
Fuck Lemonade.
It’s the sugar I’m lacking.
But just because I don’t know
What being jumped on feels like,
Don’t mean I don’t
Know the struggle.
Snuggle up to my teddy bear
When I hear gunshots outside.
3 a.m. and I can’t sleep cause
Every day’s another fight.
Taken away my right
To marry.
Join the military
Just cause I’ve learned to love
Myself and the others in my life.
Trying to cope with addiction
Both family members and mine.
Finding time to finish school, church,
Friends, making a chance in this world for myself.
I’m trying to hard to be a good
Daughter, friend, sister.
I’m learning to adore myself
And, someday, I hope it’ll all
Turn out fine
The way the rhymes do in
Fairytales. I don’t want to be
A princess, just a girl with dreams,
Goals, a drive to make sure
No more friends get
Shot in the back and killed.
Running from a man who knew
No mercy.
Bullets fly faster – the pleas of
Forgiveness, apparently.
Who says I don’t know pain?
Rejection? Self-loathing?
Who says I haven’t known
Heartache and trouble? Depression
And sacrifice?
Poverty and restless nights?
Don’t judge me based on where I do
Or don’t come from.
Judge me based on my aspirations,
Interests, choices. Choices I liked.
Not choices that were a paradox
In themselves.
Because you don’t always have
Freedom in your choices.
Hear our voices when we
Rise from our grieving ashes
Begging for a cause.
Hear out begs for change when
We grasp that contrary to
Popular belief,
Not all hope is lost.
Hear our hopes and dreams
That getting the hell out
Of here is worth the cost
That we’re gonna make a life
Worth writing down someday
That we’ll be remembered
Through the fog.