{"id":1936,"date":"2014-11-14T14:28:53","date_gmt":"2014-11-14T19:28:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/?p=1936"},"modified":"2014-11-14T14:28:53","modified_gmt":"2014-11-14T19:28:53","slug":"this-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/2014\/11\/14\/this-life\/","title":{"rendered":"THIS LIFE"},"content":{"rendered":"<h6>by\u00a0<span style=\"text-decoration: underline\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/?s=emily&amp;submit.x=0&amp;submit.y=0\" target=\"_blank\">EMILY<\/a><\/span><\/h6>\n<p>I think a lot, but I wish I didn&#8217;t<br \/>\nthough. I think of good things, bad<br \/>\nthings, things you could never know.<\/p>\n<p>I reload every second from a pile of<br \/>\nmesh. My brain is like a supercomputer<br \/>\nalways stuck on refresh.<\/p>\n<p>I do crazy things and mess up<br \/>\ntoo much. I&#8217;ve realized things can<br \/>\nfall apart with only the slightest touch.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m surrounded by the world and<br \/>\ntrapped in my own home, my life<br \/>\nseems to stay in my small comfort zone.<\/p>\n<p>Change is inevitable and sometimes<br \/>\nthat thought scares me. It&#8217;s like<br \/>\nthe universe doesn&#8217;t know<br \/>\nthis is how I want it to be.<\/p>\n<p>Random things pop into my<br \/>\nhead at all the wrong times.<br \/>\nLike what if everything Dr. Seuss<br \/>\nsays is only made up of rhymes?<\/p>\n<p>Or do chickens have their own<br \/>\nsecret language they use when<br \/>\nno one&#8217;s around? Does it mean<br \/>\nI have a desire that makes me<br \/>\ncrazy, but has yet to be found?<\/p>\n<p>Am I incapable of being normal and<br \/>\nacting right? And is it bad when<br \/>\nboth sides of your brain<br \/>\nalways seem to fight?<\/p>\n<p>Does it make sense that I make<br \/>\nwishes even though I know they<br \/>\nwon&#8217;t come true? Or is it stupid to<br \/>\nthink that others might do it, too?<\/p>\n<p>Does it make me a bad person because<br \/>\nsometimes i hate the people that I&#8217;m supposed<br \/>\nto love? And when they try to get close<br \/>\nI push them away with one big shove.<\/p>\n<p>I guess I&#8217;m crazy, insane, a total<br \/>\nnut job. I&#8217;m just happy my door<br \/>\nhasn&#8217;t been knocked down by<br \/>\na full-blown mob.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes I wish there was one<br \/>\nperson on earth that I could<br \/>\ntalk to about this stuff. But<br \/>\nthere&#8217;s not, so I&#8217;ll go on<br \/>\npretending that this life isn&#8217;t tough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/?s=emily&amp;submit.x=0&amp;submit.y=0\" target=\"_blank\">EMILY<\/a> <\/p>\n<p>I think a lot, but I wish I didn&#8217;t<br \/> though. I think of good things, bad<br \/> things, things you could never know.<\/p>\n<p>I reload every second from a pile of<br \/> mesh. My brain is like a supercomputer<br \/> always stuck on refresh.<\/p>\n<p>I do crazy things and mess up<br [...]\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1977,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[315],"tags":[99873],"coauthors":[79521],"class_list":["post-1936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-emily"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1977"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1936"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1937,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1936\/revisions\/1937"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1936"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.butler.edu\/exclusiveink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=1936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}