by Lauren Reed

I’ve had a couple of great things going for me this January. The first was that I went on a 2-week trip to sunny Eastern Cuba for the second time to dance and do thesis research. The second is that I began a class that I created for myself (Butler will let you do almost anything if you ask nicely) about mantra. For the class, I’m chanting “gate gate paragate parasamgate bodi swaha” (gone gone, gone beyond, beyond the gone-beyond, so be it) for about 4 hours a week and then journaling about it. I think the best way to tell you about these experiences is to share my first journal entry that I wrote while I was still in Cuba:

I was planning on waiting, but I guess that it’s fitting that I’m starting to read The Way of the Pilgrim (a book I’m reading for my class about a man who chants) while I’m traveling in Cuba. I realized this while reading the foreword of the book. The write quotes Gabriel Marcel on his idea that order will be established on earth when each person understands that he or she is only a figurative traveler here. I’m a literal traveler right now so here is what that means to me in this moment:
1.) I’m living out of a suitcase and I don’t want to unpack everything because I know I’ll have to move again soon. I think the pilgrim’s physical body is his “suitcase” here on earth. It sounds like he barely takes care of his body. He hardly ever eats, he walks and sleeps outside in the snow with tattered old shoes, he doesn’t want a home. But the things inside his “suitcase,” his soul and connection with God, he takes care of those very well.
2.) I have to roll with the punches. I’m going to be disappointed if I expect a consistent schedule or to know what’s going to happen two days from now or to be in a car with adequate safety features. I’m living day to day. For a change.
3. I need to be ready to part with my belongings. If my Cuban friend needs my chapstick because it’s expensive in Cuba, I give her mine and make due without chapstick for the rest of the trip. It’s weird how attached we get to little things like headphones and pens and chapstick when they’re so easy to get in the U.S. But for that reason, it makes more sense to give those things to people that don’t have them.
4.) I’m careful to not waste. I haven’t thrown away or left a single mini bar of soap or roll of toilet paper in any of our hotel rooms because those things are also hard for Cuban people to get. And I know that when I get back to the U.S., I’ll have a hard time throwing away napkins or dumping out cups of water. It makes me upset to think of how much water it takes for a shower. I’ve been showering with a gallon and a half of water in a bucket for the past week and I’m doing just fine. It makes me even more upset to think that in a couple weeks, I’ll probably be back into my old wasteful habits…
I’m grateful to have a traveling experience as I read The Pilgrim; it gives me some perspective. As I read, I’m picking out phrases that jump out at me. For example, the pilgrim discusses wanting an experience in constant prayer (chanting mantra) rather than a mental study of it. And, hey, that’s what I’m doing right now with this mantra class. I’m learning about mantra by DOING rather than just by reading about it.
I tried my mantra for the first time today. I chanted for 20 minutes while I held ice on my knees. Hours of dancing on cobblestone is awful for your body. I started chanting in my normal speaking tone and after only a few minutes, my throat started to hurt. It felt like my vocal chords were straining from speaking in a low voice even though it wasn’t all that low. Around minute 10, I realized that my volume had been getting softer and softer. I decided to observe this rather than to try to change it. See? Rolling with the punches. My voice kept getting softer until finally, I “broke” into a whisper. I say “broke” because the change in effort to continue in a whisper felt so immediately relaxing that it was like releasing something I’d been holding too tightly. It was so freeing. The last 5 minutes went by smoothly, and I was surprised when my alarm went off to tell me that my time was up.

The way I think about Cuba and my practice keeps changing as I settle back in to America and dive into mantra. It already feels like a month since I’ve been home and the vividness of Cuba’s atmosphere and warm weather is being replaced by the reality of this awful winter. Still, I’m glad to be chanting at home and I’m so lucky that I was able to begin my mantra journey as a traveler.

Peace,
Lauren