by Lauren Reed

The Blue House asked me to reflect on my internship and what I’m learning. I’m about due for some reflection. I usually put my head down and go go go until the end of the semester, waiting to reflect until I’m at home on my couch eating Christmas cookies. But reflection is important (hey, that’s the first thing I’ve learned) so here’s what I’m thinking about my internship and life as of 8:25 this morning:

1. College is for growing, not learning. Sure, I’m learning things in my classes and that’s important. Let’s be real, though; I won’t remember a lot of the details a few years from now. What matters (to me, at least) is that I can take personal meaning from what I’m learning. That’s why my religion minor and this internship feel so right to me. I understand how to take themes I’m learning and apply those to my understanding of myself. I have a dance teacher who always says that dance class is about “collecting sensations” rather than copying movement. With enough practice, anyone can move the same way the teacher does, but understanding how the movement feels and where it’s coming from and what it means to YOU is a different story. In college, anyone can learn facts; it’s tougher to know how to grow from them.

2. Numbers don’t count. Working in ResLife has gotten me used to numbers. I should have at least 5 people at each program I host. I can use x% of my budget for this event. It’s a pragmatic and effective way to do things and it’s what I knew, so I brought it with me to this internship. I’m still getting used to the way the Blue House functions because it’s all about the presence on campus rather than the number of people who come through the house. What matters most is that we are available. It’s ok if I don’t reach everyone, but I’ll really invest in the people I do connect with. It’s so liberating to have permission to focus on a few people rather than to desperately try to engage everyone.

3. Talking with people is the best way to serve. As people, we all need lots of things, right? We need food and money and friends and an education (preferably in something sustainable). It is so easy to want to provide these things, especially to those who are close to us. As a CFV intern, I want to give each of Butler’s faith groups funding, students, and publicity. And lots of it. Almost 3 months in, I’m starting to realize that I haven’t been exactly realistic. I can’t give each group everything I’d like to but I’ve had some fantastic conversations with student leaders that were more meaningful than a strategic blog post or financial donation. We need a lot of things, but one thing that we tend to overlook is the need to be listened to. I’m glad that I’ve been able to provide that in lieu of giant money bags.

So that’s where I’m at. I’m so, so grateful for this opportunity to learn and share.
Peace,
Lauren