When I was growing up, I was never really good at anything. I tried playing sports, whether it was soccer, baseball, basketball, etc. I tried being a good writer, which never resulted in anything special. I tried being a good student, but was always overshadowed by my brother. He was always better than me at everything, whether in athletics or academics. I always looked up to him, but internally thought that I was letting my parents down because I was always standing in his shadow. I felt proud of myself, but was always trying to please others by attempting to achieve something that most people didn’t. Eventually, I found acceptance that I’m my own person and didn’t have to be my brother.
The reason I’m sharing this is because this thought came back to me after reading the Tiger Killer short story and biography of Yu Jang. I felt that I wasn’t good enough for my family and thought I couldn’t be respected as my brother. But then my mother told me that I’m my own person and don’t have to worry about not everyone having a positive image of me. After reading the Tiger Killer story, Huping was bragging about killing the tiger in his first attempt. But once the film industry wants to have a re-take, Huping fails miserably to kill the tiger. He freaks out and has a mental breakdown because he failed to kill the tiger. This shows that he is worried about how people view him as a person. He believes that his image is ruined and he has no honor anymore. Even when the film industry tells Huping that he needs a re-take reflects on the idea that if they produce a movie that doesn’t show the Chinese story correctly, they will lose their honor for portraying something false. I feel like this is a stereotype of Chinese lifestyle, where if you don’t earn your parents’ respect that you are a failure. Everyone has heard the joke about how Chinese people have to grow up a be doctors in order to not fail their parents. I feel like this is important in their culture, while not in American culture. I don’t have to impress my parents, but that doesn’t mean I don’t necessarily try. Like many people in China are hard-working or smart in the common American’s perspective, while there are many lazy people in our society. Honor just doesn’t mean much in America, where it’s very important in China.
Similar in the biography of Yu Jang, there’s not many people I know that would risk their own death to avenge someone or get back their honor. I’d take a bullet for some people, but wouldn’t risk my life as a symbol of earning honor. I just thought that this person is psycho when risking his life to avenge his master’s death. Honor is just very important in China, and I respect that. But in our society, honor isn’t associated with our culture. I was just amazed and confused when hearing about why people need to impress or achieve so much when it’s not to please themselves, but have people view them as someone glorious.