After reading the story “Flame” by Ha Jin and briefly discussing cultural trends that affect marriage, it led me to become more curious about the differences between China and America in terms of the idea and culture of marriage.
I first examined one study, which you can learn more about here. This study included 214 college students in China and 154 college students in America. This was completed in 1999, so it is a bit dated and does not address the modernized version of marriage that exists today in America. However, some of the findings were still interesting. Overall, Chinese students expressed higher acceptance of divorce when children were involved and believed that children were necessary in marriage. More American students thought one parent should stay home with the children, but American students did not think it always had to be the woman and that women were equally entitled to a career. More Chinese students believed women had more household chores than men. However, women from both cultures believed that household chores should be split equally between spouses. Chinese students were far more interested in coming up with ways to communicate better with their spouse and were more likely to seek out premarital counseling. American students felt very strongly about parents not intervening in marriage matters, but this idea did not bother Chinese students at all (Xie, Dzindolet, & Meredith, 1999).
I then looked at a more recent study conducted in 2016. The paper first examined marriage customs. The paper was able to pinpoint specific dates and traditions that have impacted Chinese marriage customs throughout history. However, the American marriage customs were much less specific and defined. American marriage customs have adapted over time due to the diversity of the population within America. American marriage customs have been significantly influenced by many different countries; therefore, it is harder to specifically identify marriage traditions and customs from points in history. Overall, Americans place more of a value on falling in love in the grand scheme of marriage whereas Chinese see marriage as a ritual (Guo & Wang, 2016).
This paper mentioned the strong influence that Confucianism has on attitudes of marriage in Chinese culture. The family unit is seen as a pillar of social stability, so marriage became an opportunity to unite family units and for young couples to become stabilized in a social community. Husband-wife is one of the renowned Five Relationships that is taught in Confucianism (Guo & Wang, 2016).
The matter of the cultural differences and attitudes about marriage can be studied across many different cultures. There are many differences between the attitudes and customs of marriage between America and China. My research was very limited, but it is interesting to learn more about the history behind the marriage trends in each of the cultures today. The differences in the way marriage is viewed definitely affects the way a reader would respond to “Flame.”
Lei Guo, Lan Wang. Comparison Between Chinese Traditional Marriage Customs and American Marriage Customs. Humanities and Social Sciences. Vol. 4, No. 4, 2016, pp. 123-126. doi: 10.11648/j.hss.20160404.17
Xie, X., Dzindolet, M., & Meredith, W. (1999). Marriage and Family Life Attitude: Comparison of Chinese and American Students. International Journal of Sociology of the Family, 29. Retrieved from https://www.jstor.org/stable/23070629?seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents