Exclusive Ink

Tag: kat

  • FAKE IDENTITY

    by KAT

    Dang! I can barely breathe!
    I’m up on stage with everyone lookin’ at me.
    My heart is racin’.
    My legs are shakin’.
    Is the Earth quakin’?
    I’m waiting, waiting for my mouth to move.
    Then I suddenly see you (in the crowd far out),
    Without hesitation I start to sing,
    And the audience before I’m done is applauding.
    By the time I’m done, my soul is wrung.
    I can’t help but to fall and shout.
    Everyone frozen, shocked in sympathy.
    I think everyone now sees the real me.
    Dang! I can barely breathe!
    I lost my fake identity.

  • GOODBYE

    by KAT

    With you gone, I sometimes feel alone. I see so many people who still have their best loud. Walking the halls talking and laughing. I know you have new friends in this new school and life, but by the end, at night, I know you only think of me by your side. We shared all the secrets in our time. For six long years it was only us side by side. When my papa left and your momma died we both sat up together and cried all night. I still need you because my life isn’t right. I move play to place with every day filled with fights. From fighting my lover, my mother, and my brothers, but most of all fighting myself. My health isn’t good; not because I’m sick, but because I’m overwhelmed. I hope deep down that you’re all right. I hope you’re able to still sleep at night. I hope that everything will be a happy new life, something you like. Because I know I still can’t sleep at night. I wish, I hope one day we will once again be side by side. Until then, now and forever, I won’t be all right.

  • PIECES

    by KAT

    So many pieces have fallen,
    I’ve glued them to gather with the last of my soul.
    Each unique from the cracks and chips etched by its own tragic journey.
    Though it is now one, it will never be the same.
    Due to being swayed, played, and even betrayed by its own counterparts.
    Now remember, even when broken, it’s my own beautiful piece of art.

    Split in two like some fruit,
    Tangled and intertwined by the parts of me that can’t decide,
    While spikes arrive to tear and scratch the surface skin of mine
    Like bulls each fight with no choice of being tired.
    There seems no way for this maddening chaos to subside.

    While combing through the strains for time,
    I’ve turned out to be so hard,
    but on the flip side soft but barely rough enough.
    Now don’t get me wrong. I know I can take the bad.
    Especially since I’ve been used more than your daily rag.
    Sadly, we know I have to say one day I’ll break
    Then throw away
    ‘Til then I know you love me.

  • THE GLEAM TO MY DAY

    by KAT

    Today I wake with such a gleam. I have a new step to my beat. I dress quick and do my hair, trying to hurry, trying to get there. I can’t walk fast enough it seems. My feet feel as if they’re dragging. I am walking, more like jogging, at a fast pace. Here it is, the building I see. I buzz the door and wait. Feeling only my heart pace. It quickens to the point I can’t breathe. Finally it’s opening. Slowing down in the crowd that holds a thousand faces. I walk in a normal way trying not to give my excitement away. I walk down the corridors not saying a single word. I’m almost there. This is absurd. I see the stairs and start to glide. Wishing I could instead fly. Ha! I’m here. In front of the old wooden doors. I have to wait one second more. I must try. Must try and breathe. I need to think before I see. See what I have been waiting for. I think I’m going to fall to the floor. I grab the handles slowly. Turn the knob…bump…bump…bump… Sssshhh, my heartbeat. The door now opens. Now I see. I see him standing so far away. In this gym so big on the other side is where my heart now tends to fly. He turns around and through the crowd comes to meet me. We hug and kiss for we have missed each other’s warm embrace. I can’t believe I finally made it to this heavenly sent place.

  • MY GRAVE

    by KAT

    On a day so bright with the sun to shine on this winter grave, I can’t believe that such thoughts would approach my way.
    To have the one I love say the words that ensure my doubts in me. For him to say “You’re truly far away, not a part of society.”

    To say such things and make me think I should internally go away. That maybe society would do best without me.

    So let me fade. Let me fade into nothing.

    On a day so bright with the sun to shine on this winter grave. I’d never expect all that has happened to me. I’d never guess on today of all days I would have beaten and bruised physically. Pushed to the edge of my sanity. With the devil’s girly minions saying how I am so ugly. While loading me with their stuff and forcing me to have no fuse. Telling me to take it like a lovely little young lady.

    On a day so bright with the sun to shine on this winter grave, I would have never have foreseen the emotional load put on me. Everyone bossing me around with no such thing, a misery. While seeing such disappointment in my one and only’s eyes. To feel no purpose on this day of my life. To have this burden put on me is nothing but torture to me.

    Then they lifted it and along with it my feelings for everything. Except the part that chains down the oh so lonely inner me.

    All I want is someone to hold. To go somewhere far away from all this pain and suffering. Some where no one knows. A place far away from any three of my homes.

    On a day so bright with sun to shine on this winter grave, I would have never thought it would have my name.