a story by [zareya]

Dear diary, it’s me again, Veronica. Today this total fat loser spilled her gross soda — like, get a Diet, fatty — and Oreo crumbs all over my new designer dress. I think her name was Zareea, Zere, Zreya, Zucchini? Whatever. But there will be a new dress. Hopefully that pig won’t slob over it again. Hahaha, like, lol, I just remembered something. This naaasty boy tried askin gme out today. It was like totes discuss, like, can’t even, but it’s funny how he thought he had any chance with this. He’s nothing like my totes gorge boyfriend. He’s like, bae. Like hashtag relationship goals. We’re like perfect, especially together. We’re like PB and J. Snapchat and filters. Kim Kardashian and butt. You know, I mean, everybody has to be jelly. I have everything, the looks, cute bae, popularity, a family that actually loves me (Mom: “Hey sweetie, dinner’s done!”) Oh My Gosh, shut up you fat deserted beached whale and get out. That’s probably why dad left you. So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, did I mention I’m stupidly gross rich? Well, that’s it diary, or like, whatever, I’m going to see bae. Like, bye.

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