a story by [zareya]

It’s not you it’s me. I’m a narcissistic hypocrite. I get upset over everything. Everybody leaves me. I’m not second best, not third, not fourth, but fifth…if I’m lucky. I’m just a substitute when people are bored. You ask why I let people push me around. It’s because it’s the only way people will hang out with me. It’s because if I say it bothers me I’ll be all alone. I don’t really mind, I’m used to it. I’m used to being a third wheel, I’m used to being second best or the only option left. I don’t blame them though, I blame me. I did this. I’m a terrible person, a terrible human being, a terrible friend. I’m selfish, only thinking about me and how I feel. I don’t care about how you feel annoyed, or how you want to be alone or with somebody else. I’m sorry. I truly am. You’re not doing anything wrong, I know that and you know that. I just get caught up in my feelings. I never had real friends before I met you guys, not surprising huh. Well, I had two or three, I guess, but I had a lot of fake ones. I guess when I met you guys and got real ones I didn’t want to lose you guys and got too attached and became a clinging, whiny brat. I have done so much wrong and am so selfish. I’m sorry, I think you should leave for your own good. I cause way too much drama and I’m so dramatic. See, I’m causing so much drama right now. Like I’ve said before, you deserve so much better. Please understand it’s not you, it’s me.

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